The Healing Of Storytelling

Belle Burden is my hero. She wrote a story that needed to be written, for so many of us. For the women who have given their heart and soul to the man in their life, only to be left without care, without explanation. I have my own life-changing, Belle Burden story….different, but similar in all the important ways: Blindsided after 30 years of marriage without an explanation; a lot of pain and confusion left in his wake. Both Belle’s husband and mine, pretending, on their way out, that their behavior was ok, that they were not causing irreparable harm and that we should all just get over it and move on quickly. No accountability, no remorse, no integrity.  

I was afraid to read Belle’s book Strangers. I was afraid that the unpredictable grief that had been slowly lessening over 3.5 years would come roaring back. Grief did come but it was different. Usually when the grief hits I’m alone in bed at 3am trying to ease myself through this latest episode but this time I was with Belle, grieving together WITH her, for her; for me, and for the many, many other women who had endured careless men who felt entitled to hurt the women who loved them. I also felt something inside of me lighten, soften. I wasn’t alone in my pain and confusion and I knew that even though she didn’t know me, she understood me and what I had gone through without me needing to say one word.

Belle also showed me that there was a road map for the rising up that life required of me after Rick left our family, and, through her story, she told me that I could do it too. Her journey from the bathroom floor to her new, happy, fulfilling life was inspiring and exhilarating, providing me with evidence that healing is possible and that an amazing new life awaits me. In the book she forces herself forward, imperfectly but authentically, into a new life that she never wanted and that she couldn’t quite fully imagine yet, but what we know now is that that new life held many magical moments and wonderful surprises: A sold-out, best selling memoir, an interview with Oprah, a bidding war over the movie rights with Gwyneth Paltrow winning the starring role.

At some point Belle made the decision to stop looking backward and asked herself: Who do I want to be? I love this so much! The possibilities. The excitement (and fear) of the unknown. So now, here I go, armed with Belle Burden’s story – the story she so generously shared with the world. I am asking myself the same question and daring to imagine a different me and a different life- a new and better life. Daring to dream new dreams. Thank you Belle Burden.

“You’re not a victim for sharing your story. You are a survivor setting the world on fire with your truth. And you never know who needs your light, your warmth and raging courage.”      -Alex Elle